Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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