Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize