Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
