Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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