New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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