Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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