My Higher Power is John Stamos
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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