Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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