So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
When are your genitals available?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
