oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
