She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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