I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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