i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
