I'm lost and stupid without you.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
