i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
