I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
