I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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