Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
