I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
