Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
