Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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