I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
