Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
