She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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