I hate all girls vehemently.
should my penis look like a turkey
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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