I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
