i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
operation harelip BJ is a go
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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