didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You may now shotgun with the bride
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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