Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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