fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
