I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There's always time for handjobs
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
