just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize