woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
