He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
