whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
