dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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