I don't usually arrange sex via text message
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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