I smell stomach acid.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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