I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
