Plan B is the new Plan A
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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