Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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