This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
