She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
