Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
