if you like me you must not know who I am
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
time to smoke my breakfast
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
