dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
