dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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