so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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