Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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