respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
