dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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