Sry I called you an 8
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize