Where did you get a picture of my penis
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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