It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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