"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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