And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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