And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
