I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
